What does it mean?

Chris got mad at me the other day and told me to go "finger punch my fart box". I'm not sure what that means.

Fart Wisdom

Chris: Do you know what a fart is?
Me: What?
Chris: A turd honking for a right of way!


This was our conversation on one extremely gassy day:

Me: Stop farting!
Chris: You don't want me to hold them in do you?
Me: Why not?
Chris: If I hold them in they will just travel to my brain and give me bad thoughts!

Lady Issues

My daughter began her monthly cycle and called me to see if we had some tampons at the house. Here is my husband's take on the subject.

Chris: What did Kirsten want?
Me: She started and wanted to make sure there were tampons at the house.
Chris: If I were a girl I would carry those things everywhere. I'd carry them in my truck and one on me at all times.
Me: You don't have to do that-you pretty much know when you are going to start.
Chris: If I was a girl I would start using them at least a week or two before I was supposed to start-that way I wouldn't be caught unaware!

Why I Started This Blog

After a conversation with my husband this morning I decided that I had to start writing down some of the stupid things that he says so I don't forget them. Love you honey.